Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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