Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize