i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
we made out on top of his cat.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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