First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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