it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
