If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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