Whod you bang
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
