oh god the rape fog is back!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
love makes seman taste better
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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