He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But theres a keg here and me gusta
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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