He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize