she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
