he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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