now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You smell like stripper and shame
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
