Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dick very happy bro
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
