No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
