Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
