Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.