Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
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