Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon