she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.