My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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