maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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