Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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