Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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