She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
