i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
