We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize