Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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