...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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