as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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