Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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