I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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