You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
