We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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