I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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