Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Even my vagina gasped.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
