I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
