P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
