What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
