FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
