Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize