yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
