oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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