Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
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I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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