I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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