this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize