what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
