dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Let's paint friendship bongs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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