So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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