Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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