I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
