They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have post one night stand depression
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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