dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
