I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
