how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I'm really busy with my period
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