dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
