I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize
