last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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