Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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