I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
