He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
