Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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