I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize