She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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