Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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