dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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