Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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