Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
