Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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