I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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